Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are traveling in a train.
The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel.
The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.
Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Sonia is thinking:These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.
Aishwarya is thinking:Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.
Bush is thinking:Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.
Manmohan is thinking:If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Love Life & Indian advertisiment lines
Want to propose a girl
Just do it - Nike
Before going to propose to a girl
Believe in the best - BPL.
If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl
Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door karo - Vicks.
If you are going to propose to a girl
Chances are 50-50 - Britannia.
If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her
Take it easy - Limca.
Girl says NO !
Jor ka jhatka dhire se lage - Mirinda.
Those who succeed in love always say
We dream because we do - Daewoo.
If some one wants to write a love letter to hisgirlfriend
Likho script apna apna.- Rotomac.
If you love someone
Go get it - Visa power.
Boy riding a bike with neighbor’s girl
Neighbors envy owner’s pride - Onida.
Not satisfied with your date
Yeh dil mangey more - Pepsi.
A guy having a number of girl friends
The Complete Man - Raymonds.
A smart girl having a number of boyfriends
Yeh hai hamara suraksha chakra - Colgate.
For those lost in love
Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera - Bagpiper Whisky.
For a guy ‘r gal who hasn’t yet found one
Dhoondte rehe jayo ge - Surf Excel
Just do it - Nike
Before going to propose to a girl
Believe in the best - BPL.
If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl
Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door karo - Vicks.
If you are going to propose to a girl
Chances are 50-50 - Britannia.
If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her
Take it easy - Limca.
Girl says NO !
Jor ka jhatka dhire se lage - Mirinda.
Those who succeed in love always say
We dream because we do - Daewoo.
If some one wants to write a love letter to hisgirlfriend
Likho script apna apna.- Rotomac.
If you love someone
Go get it - Visa power.
Boy riding a bike with neighbor’s girl
Neighbors envy owner’s pride - Onida.
Not satisfied with your date
Yeh dil mangey more - Pepsi.
A guy having a number of girl friends
The Complete Man - Raymonds.
A smart girl having a number of boyfriends
Yeh hai hamara suraksha chakra - Colgate.
For those lost in love
Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera - Bagpiper Whisky.
For a guy ‘r gal who hasn’t yet found one
Dhoondte rehe jayo ge - Surf Excel
hight of everything
Height of Honesty - A pregnant woman asking the bus conductor for one & a half ticket.
Height of Confusion - Two earthworms making love in a bowl of noodles.
Height of pain - A monkey sliding down a knife’s edge using balls as his brakes.
Height of Foolishness - A guy peeping thru’ the keyhole of a glass door.
Height of Itch - A fat man hanging (upside down) from a roof trying to scratch his balls.
Height of Innocence - A teenager girl applying Clearsil to her nipples thinking them as pimples.
Height of Unemployment - Cobwebs in prostitute’s cunt.
Height of Competition:1.A guy peeing beside a waterfall.2.A topless lady standing near mount everest.
Height of Bravery: A naked man bending over to pick up a quarter on an island of gays.
Height of Disgustion: While wiping after a good toilet dump, your finger pokes through the paper.
Height of Technology: Condom with zip.
Height of Penetration: A baby girl born pregnant.
Height of Darkness: A negro searching for his penis in a dark room.
Height of fashion: A female applying LipStick to her vertical Lips.
Height of patience: A female lying naked under a banana tree and hoping for banana to fall in the right place.
Height of coincidence: And the banana falling in
HEIGHT OF PAIN: the whole banana bunch falls down..
Height of salesmanship: Monkey selling bananas
Height of laziness: A man marrying a pregnant woman
Height of coincidence: My Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
Height of Frustration: A boxer trying to scratch his balls.
Height of Trouble: A one handed man hanging from a cliff and his arse is itching.
Height of Confusion - Two earthworms making love in a bowl of noodles.
Height of pain - A monkey sliding down a knife’s edge using balls as his brakes.
Height of Foolishness - A guy peeping thru’ the keyhole of a glass door.
Height of Itch - A fat man hanging (upside down) from a roof trying to scratch his balls.
Height of Innocence - A teenager girl applying Clearsil to her nipples thinking them as pimples.
Height of Unemployment - Cobwebs in prostitute’s cunt.
Height of Competition:1.A guy peeing beside a waterfall.2.A topless lady standing near mount everest.
Height of Bravery: A naked man bending over to pick up a quarter on an island of gays.
Height of Disgustion: While wiping after a good toilet dump, your finger pokes through the paper.
Height of Technology: Condom with zip.
Height of Penetration: A baby girl born pregnant.
Height of Darkness: A negro searching for his penis in a dark room.
Height of fashion: A female applying LipStick to her vertical Lips.
Height of patience: A female lying naked under a banana tree and hoping for banana to fall in the right place.
Height of coincidence: And the banana falling in
HEIGHT OF PAIN: the whole banana bunch falls down..
Height of salesmanship: Monkey selling bananas
Height of laziness: A man marrying a pregnant woman
Height of coincidence: My Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
Height of Frustration: A boxer trying to scratch his balls.
Height of Trouble: A one handed man hanging from a cliff and his arse is itching.
unique divorce case
There was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old.
Their relationship was turning sour.
So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a relationship.
So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court. It was decided that this choice should be left on the kid. So the judge asked “Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?”
Kid said,”No, mummy beats me” So the judge asked“Then, would you like to stay with your papa then ?” Kid said, “No, papa beats me” Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do…after pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child……
And he gave the judgment that
…
…
...
...
...
The kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they
NEVER BEAT ANY BODY!!
Hoo haa India….!!!! aaya India
Their relationship was turning sour.
So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a relationship.
So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court. It was decided that this choice should be left on the kid. So the judge asked “Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?”
Kid said,”No, mummy beats me” So the judge asked“Then, would you like to stay with your papa then ?” Kid said, “No, papa beats me” Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do…after pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child……
And he gave the judgment that
…
…
...
...
...
The kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they
NEVER BEAT ANY BODY!!
Hoo haa India….!!!! aaya India
dictionary of dating
ATTRACTION… the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT… what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING… the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL… avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY… a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT… a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman’s eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND… a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE… a woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be “playing hard to get”.
INTERESTING… a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT… what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY… how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC… a man’s term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
SOBER… condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT… what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING… the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL… avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY… a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT… a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman’s eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND… a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE… a woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be “playing hard to get”.
INTERESTING… a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT… what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY… how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC… a man’s term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
SOBER… condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Which condom would you use….
Which condom would you use….
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can’t stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren’t you glad you use it? Don’t you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey– you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who’s next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can’t have just one.
Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
The Carl’s Jr. Condom: If it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face…
General Electric: We bring good things to life!
AT&T condom: ‘Reach out and touch someone.’
Bounty: The quicker picker upper.
Microsoft: where do you want to go today ?
Energizer: It keeps going and going and going….
M&M condom: ‘It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!’
Chevron: use them? people do.
Taco Bell: get some; make a run for the border
MCI: for friends and family
Double Mint: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter
Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta’s ready when you are
United Airlines travel pack: Fly United
The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
Wendy Condoms: Where’s the beef?
Denny’s Condoms: $1.99 Grand Slam
Mazda Condom: It Just Feels Right!
Maxwell House: Good to the last drop!
McDonalds condom: Over 99 billion served
Hewlett Packard condoms: Expanding Possibilities
Burger King: Have it your way
Dairy Queen: We treat you right
AOL: So easy to use, no wonder it’s #1
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can’t stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren’t you glad you use it? Don’t you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey– you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who’s next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can’t have just one.
Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
The Carl’s Jr. Condom: If it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face…
General Electric: We bring good things to life!
AT&T condom: ‘Reach out and touch someone.’
Bounty: The quicker picker upper.
Microsoft: where do you want to go today ?
Energizer: It keeps going and going and going….
M&M condom: ‘It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!’
Chevron: use them? people do.
Taco Bell: get some; make a run for the border
MCI: for friends and family
Double Mint: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter
Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta’s ready when you are
United Airlines travel pack: Fly United
The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
Wendy Condoms: Where’s the beef?
Denny’s Condoms: $1.99 Grand Slam
Mazda Condom: It Just Feels Right!
Maxwell House: Good to the last drop!
McDonalds condom: Over 99 billion served
Hewlett Packard condoms: Expanding Possibilities
Burger King: Have it your way
Dairy Queen: We treat you right
AOL: So easy to use, no wonder it’s #1
good SMS
Welcome the new morning with a
“smile” on ur “face”
“love” in ur “heart” &
“good thoughts” in ur “mind”
and u will have a wounderful day
good morning
Believe in miracles, but don’t depend on them
Better understand a little than misunderstand a lot.
Don’t limit ur challenges-challenge ur limits……
Somebody asked :. God I want peace
God :. Remove that “I” as that is ego.
Remove that “want” that is desire.
And peace is will be automatically there.
Kitni raate beet gai, Kitne din beet gaye,
Bus beeta nahin to, yadon ka who pal,
Wo guzara hua kal, Biti nahin to aankho ki nami aur aap ki kami.
Vishwas bankey log zindgi me aate hai,
Khwab banke aankho me sama jate hai,
Pehle toh ye yakin dilate hai ki wo hamare hai,
Fir na jane kyun tanha chhod jate hai.
Logo ko kehte suna aksar zinda rahe to phir milenge,
Magar hamne mehsus kiya hai pal pal milte rahe to zinda rahenge.
Tumhara humara rishta to ankhon aur palko jaisa he,
Agar palakkuch der na jhapke to ankh ro deti hai,
Aur agar ankh mey kuch chala je to palak tadap uthti hai.
Ek pal me unhone zindagi sawaar di,
Ek pal me hi zindagi ujad di,
Kasur unka nahi hamara tha,
Jo un do pal me humne zindagi guzaar di.
Chahat main kisika imtihaan na lena,
Jo nibha hi na sako who vaadana dean,
Jise tum bin jeene ki aadat hi na ho,
Usse kabhi juda ho k jeene ki dua na dena.
Ajab sa ehsaas hai Dosti, do insano ka saath hai Dosti,
Khuda ki khudai hai Dosti, zindagi ki sachayi hai Dosti,
Naseeb wale hai hum jo payi hai Aapaki Dosti.
Meri dosti ka hisab lagaoge, to meri dosti behisab paoge,
Pani ke bulbule si hai meri dosti, jara si thes lagi to dhoondte reh jaoge.
Kaash who nagme hamane sunaaye na hote,
Aaj unko sun kar aasu aaye na hote,
Agar isi tarah bhool jaana tha,
To itani gehrai si dil me samaye na hote.
Mausam ki bahar acchi hai ho,
Phulo ki kaliya kacchi ho,
Hamari ye dosti sacchi ho,
Bhagwan se ek hidua hai ki mere dostki har subah acchi ho.
What men want :.
A woman who can cook good,
A woman who earns good money,
A woman who loves him &
System make sure that those 3 woman never meet each other.
Why do woman live longer than men ?
Sopping never causes heart attacks…
But paying the bills does…!
NAMASKAR
Jinda ho to sms bhejo,
Aasmaan me ho to barish bhejo,
Swarg mein ho to apasra bhejo,
AUR agar narak me ho to wahi raho aur enjoy karo.
“smile” on ur “face”
“love” in ur “heart” &
“good thoughts” in ur “mind”
and u will have a wounderful day
good morning
Believe in miracles, but don’t depend on them
Better understand a little than misunderstand a lot.
Don’t limit ur challenges-challenge ur limits……
Somebody asked :. God I want peace
God :. Remove that “I” as that is ego.
Remove that “want” that is desire.
And peace is will be automatically there.
Kitni raate beet gai, Kitne din beet gaye,
Bus beeta nahin to, yadon ka who pal,
Wo guzara hua kal, Biti nahin to aankho ki nami aur aap ki kami.
Vishwas bankey log zindgi me aate hai,
Khwab banke aankho me sama jate hai,
Pehle toh ye yakin dilate hai ki wo hamare hai,
Fir na jane kyun tanha chhod jate hai.
Logo ko kehte suna aksar zinda rahe to phir milenge,
Magar hamne mehsus kiya hai pal pal milte rahe to zinda rahenge.
Tumhara humara rishta to ankhon aur palko jaisa he,
Agar palakkuch der na jhapke to ankh ro deti hai,
Aur agar ankh mey kuch chala je to palak tadap uthti hai.
Ek pal me unhone zindagi sawaar di,
Ek pal me hi zindagi ujad di,
Kasur unka nahi hamara tha,
Jo un do pal me humne zindagi guzaar di.
Chahat main kisika imtihaan na lena,
Jo nibha hi na sako who vaadana dean,
Jise tum bin jeene ki aadat hi na ho,
Usse kabhi juda ho k jeene ki dua na dena.
Ajab sa ehsaas hai Dosti, do insano ka saath hai Dosti,
Khuda ki khudai hai Dosti, zindagi ki sachayi hai Dosti,
Naseeb wale hai hum jo payi hai Aapaki Dosti.
Meri dosti ka hisab lagaoge, to meri dosti behisab paoge,
Pani ke bulbule si hai meri dosti, jara si thes lagi to dhoondte reh jaoge.
Kaash who nagme hamane sunaaye na hote,
Aaj unko sun kar aasu aaye na hote,
Agar isi tarah bhool jaana tha,
To itani gehrai si dil me samaye na hote.
Mausam ki bahar acchi hai ho,
Phulo ki kaliya kacchi ho,
Hamari ye dosti sacchi ho,
Bhagwan se ek hidua hai ki mere dostki har subah acchi ho.
What men want :.
A woman who can cook good,
A woman who earns good money,
A woman who loves him &
System make sure that those 3 woman never meet each other.
Why do woman live longer than men ?
Sopping never causes heart attacks…
But paying the bills does…!
NAMASKAR
Jinda ho to sms bhejo,
Aasmaan me ho to barish bhejo,
Swarg mein ho to apasra bhejo,
AUR agar narak me ho to wahi raho aur enjoy karo.
women are...
Women are complex creatures…..
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don’t, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you visit her often,she thinks it is boring
If you don’t , she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don’t , you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way
If you visit another man, you’re not putting in “quality time”
If she is visited by another woman, “Oh it’s natural, we are girls”
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they a just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
In short :
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning,
yet so wonderful……….WOMEN !……..
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don’t, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you visit her often,she thinks it is boring
If you don’t , she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don’t , you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way
If you visit another man, you’re not putting in “quality time”
If she is visited by another woman, “Oh it’s natural, we are girls”
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they a just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
In short :
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning,
yet so wonderful……….WOMEN !……..
some good shayree
Some really wonderful shairo shairee
Honth nahi keh sakte jo afsana dil ka,
Shayad nazar se wo baat ho jaaye,
Iss umeed se karte hain intezar raat ka ki
Shayad sapno me mulaqat ho jaye.
Har taraf khamoshi ka saya hai,
Zindagi me pyaar kisne paya hai,
Hum yaadon mein jhoomte hai uski aur
zamana kehta hai“Dekho aaj phir peekar aaya hai.”
Muskaan tere hothon se kahin jaye na,
Aansu teri palkon pe kabhi aaye na,
Poora ho tera har khwab aur
jo poora na hoWoh khawab kabhi aaye na
Yun nazar ki baat aur dil chura gaye,
Andhero ke saaye mein dhadkan suna gaye,
Hum to samjhe the “Ajnabi” aapko,
Aap to hume apna bana gaye
Meetha sa dard dil mein utha abhi abhi,
Kya tune yaad kiya abhi abhi?
Ek arse se mulaqat nahi hui
Phir bhi lagta hai tum mile abhi abhi.
Dosti sachi ho to waqt ruk jata hai,
Aasman lakh ucha ho magar jhuk jata hai.
Dosti mein duniya lakh baney rukavat,
Agar dosti sach ho toh khuda bhi jhuk jata hai.
Chand ko chandani par garoor hai,
Chandni ko chand par.
Ham kis par garoor karein,
hamara to chand hi hamse duur hai.
Haseeno ka kafila masjid ki aur ja raha tha,
hamne bula liya.
Hum toh barbad ho chuke the sanam
khuda ko barbad hone se bacha liya.
MAT KARO KOI WADA JISE TUM NIBHA NA SAKO,
MAT CHAHO USE JISE TUM PA NA SAKO,
PYAR KAHAN KISI KA POORA HOTA HAI,
ISKA TO PEHLA SHABD HI ADHOORA HOTA HAI
Meri har khata par naraz na hona,
Apni pyari si muskan kabhi na khona,
Sukoon milta he dekhkar apki muskurahat ko,
Mujhe maut bhi aye to bhi mat rona
Bhoolna tumhe na asaan hoga,
jo bhule tumhe vo nadan hoga.
Aap to baste ho rooh mein hamari,
aap hume na bhule ye apka ehsan hoga
Har sham se tera izhaar kiya karte hai,
Har khwab me tera didar kiya karte hai,
Diwane hi to hai hum tere,
Jo har waqt tere milne ka intzaar kiya karte hai.
Kabhi kisi se jikar-e-judai -mat karna..
Is DIL se kabhi ruswai mat karna..
Jab dil uth jaye humse to bata dena..
Na bata kar bewafai mat karna.
Jisne humko chaha,
use hum chah na sake,
Jisko chaha usae hum pa na sake,
Yeh samajh lo dil tutne ka khel hai,
Kisi ka toda aur apna bacha na sake
Missed call to ek bahana hai,
Irada to aapka ek lamha churana he,
Aap chahe humse baat karo ya na karo,
Aap ki yadon mein humara ana jana hai.
Yeh such hai doston kisi se pyaar na karna,
Kabhi kisi ka aitbaar na karna,
Tham ke khanjar apne hi hathon mein,
Bedardi se apne dil par vaar na karna
Zindagi ko ek rangin kalpana samjho,
Subah ko sach raat ko sapna samjho,
Bhulana chahte ho sabhi gamo ko to,
Zindagi me mujhe apna samjho
Roye Hai Buhat Tab Zara Karaar Mila Hai.
Is Jahan Mein kise Bhala Sacha Pyaar Mila Hai.
Guzar rahi hai zindagi Imtehan ke daur se.
Ek khatam Hua Toh Dusra Tayar Mila Hai.
Mere Damaan ko khushiyo ka nahi Malaal.
Gham ka khazana jo isko beshumar mila hai.
Woh kamnasib hai jinhe mehboob mil gaya.
Mein khushnasib hun mujhe Intezar mila hai.
GAMO SE KYA DARNA WO TO SABHI KO MILTE HAI
IN PHOOLO KO DEKHO HAMESHA KAANTO KE BEECH KHILTE HAIN
Sehmi Sehmi nigahon mein khwab hum saja denge,
Suni suni rahon pe phool hum khila denge,
Aap hamare sung muskura kar to dekho,
Aap har gam bhula denge.
Tumhari yadoon ko rok pana hai mushkil,
Rote huey dil ko manana hai muskil,
Ye dil apko kitna yaad karta hai,
Ek sms main likh pana hai mushkil…
Chiraghon ki roshni jab zara hili,
Laga tumhari ek aahat si mili,
Jaake dekha jab dar pe,
To phir wahi kafir hawa mili..
PYAR means….
P = Phone karna..
Y = Yaad karna..
A = Azadi khona..
R = Rote rehna,
k kaash phone aaye!!Unko hamari yaad aaye..So don’t PYAR.
Teri ulfat ko kabhi nakam na hone denge
Teri DOSTI ko kabhi badnam na hone denge
Meri zindagi main Suraj nikle na nikle
Teri zindagi main kabhi shaam na hone denge.
Wafa Main Ab Ye Hunar Ikhtiar Karna Hai,
Woh Sach Kahe Na Kahe Aitebar Karna Hai.
Yeh TujhKo Jagte Rehne Ka Shauk KabSe Hua,
Mujhe To Khair Tera Intezaar Krna Hai.
Khwabon main ayenge SMS ki tarah.
Dil main bas jayenge ring tone ki tarah,
Ye yari kabhi kam na hogi balance ki tarah,
Sirf tum busy na hona network ki tarah.
Baad Marne K Mere Tum Jo Kahani Likhna
Kaise Barbaad Hui Meri Jawani Likhna.
Yeh Bhi Likhna K Mere Hoont Hansi Ko Tarse,
Umer Bhar Ankh Se Behta Raha Pani Likhna.
Dard se dosti ho gayi yaaron,
Zindagi bedard ho gayi yaaron.
Kya hua jo jal gaya aashiyana hamara,
Duur tak roshni to ho gayi yaaron….
Dilo ko khareedne wale hazar mil jayege,
Aap ko daga dene wale bar-bar mil jayege,
Milega na aapko hum jesa koi,
Milne ko to dost beshumar mil jayege.
Susti bhare jism ko jagate kyun nahi,
Uth kar sab k saamne aate kyo nahi,
Msg bhi tumhara smell marta hai,
Thodi himmat kar k NAHATE kyun nahi…
Manzilain bhi uski thi, Rasta bhi uska tha.
Ek main akela tha,Kafila bhi uska tha..
Sath-Sath chalne ki soch bhi uski thi,
Phir raasta badalne ka faisla bhi uska tha…
Aaj kyun akela hoon,Dil sawal karta hai,
Log to uske the,Kya KHUDA bhi uska tha….?
Honth nahi keh sakte jo afsana dil ka,
Shayad nazar se wo baat ho jaaye,
Iss umeed se karte hain intezar raat ka ki
Shayad sapno me mulaqat ho jaye.
Har taraf khamoshi ka saya hai,
Zindagi me pyaar kisne paya hai,
Hum yaadon mein jhoomte hai uski aur
zamana kehta hai“Dekho aaj phir peekar aaya hai.”
Muskaan tere hothon se kahin jaye na,
Aansu teri palkon pe kabhi aaye na,
Poora ho tera har khwab aur
jo poora na hoWoh khawab kabhi aaye na
Yun nazar ki baat aur dil chura gaye,
Andhero ke saaye mein dhadkan suna gaye,
Hum to samjhe the “Ajnabi” aapko,
Aap to hume apna bana gaye
Meetha sa dard dil mein utha abhi abhi,
Kya tune yaad kiya abhi abhi?
Ek arse se mulaqat nahi hui
Phir bhi lagta hai tum mile abhi abhi.
Dosti sachi ho to waqt ruk jata hai,
Aasman lakh ucha ho magar jhuk jata hai.
Dosti mein duniya lakh baney rukavat,
Agar dosti sach ho toh khuda bhi jhuk jata hai.
Chand ko chandani par garoor hai,
Chandni ko chand par.
Ham kis par garoor karein,
hamara to chand hi hamse duur hai.
Haseeno ka kafila masjid ki aur ja raha tha,
hamne bula liya.
Hum toh barbad ho chuke the sanam
khuda ko barbad hone se bacha liya.
MAT KARO KOI WADA JISE TUM NIBHA NA SAKO,
MAT CHAHO USE JISE TUM PA NA SAKO,
PYAR KAHAN KISI KA POORA HOTA HAI,
ISKA TO PEHLA SHABD HI ADHOORA HOTA HAI
Meri har khata par naraz na hona,
Apni pyari si muskan kabhi na khona,
Sukoon milta he dekhkar apki muskurahat ko,
Mujhe maut bhi aye to bhi mat rona
Bhoolna tumhe na asaan hoga,
jo bhule tumhe vo nadan hoga.
Aap to baste ho rooh mein hamari,
aap hume na bhule ye apka ehsan hoga
Har sham se tera izhaar kiya karte hai,
Har khwab me tera didar kiya karte hai,
Diwane hi to hai hum tere,
Jo har waqt tere milne ka intzaar kiya karte hai.
Kabhi kisi se jikar-e-judai -mat karna..
Is DIL se kabhi ruswai mat karna..
Jab dil uth jaye humse to bata dena..
Na bata kar bewafai mat karna.
Jisne humko chaha,
use hum chah na sake,
Jisko chaha usae hum pa na sake,
Yeh samajh lo dil tutne ka khel hai,
Kisi ka toda aur apna bacha na sake
Missed call to ek bahana hai,
Irada to aapka ek lamha churana he,
Aap chahe humse baat karo ya na karo,
Aap ki yadon mein humara ana jana hai.
Yeh such hai doston kisi se pyaar na karna,
Kabhi kisi ka aitbaar na karna,
Tham ke khanjar apne hi hathon mein,
Bedardi se apne dil par vaar na karna
Zindagi ko ek rangin kalpana samjho,
Subah ko sach raat ko sapna samjho,
Bhulana chahte ho sabhi gamo ko to,
Zindagi me mujhe apna samjho
Roye Hai Buhat Tab Zara Karaar Mila Hai.
Is Jahan Mein kise Bhala Sacha Pyaar Mila Hai.
Guzar rahi hai zindagi Imtehan ke daur se.
Ek khatam Hua Toh Dusra Tayar Mila Hai.
Mere Damaan ko khushiyo ka nahi Malaal.
Gham ka khazana jo isko beshumar mila hai.
Woh kamnasib hai jinhe mehboob mil gaya.
Mein khushnasib hun mujhe Intezar mila hai.
GAMO SE KYA DARNA WO TO SABHI KO MILTE HAI
IN PHOOLO KO DEKHO HAMESHA KAANTO KE BEECH KHILTE HAIN
Sehmi Sehmi nigahon mein khwab hum saja denge,
Suni suni rahon pe phool hum khila denge,
Aap hamare sung muskura kar to dekho,
Aap har gam bhula denge.
Tumhari yadoon ko rok pana hai mushkil,
Rote huey dil ko manana hai muskil,
Ye dil apko kitna yaad karta hai,
Ek sms main likh pana hai mushkil…
Chiraghon ki roshni jab zara hili,
Laga tumhari ek aahat si mili,
Jaake dekha jab dar pe,
To phir wahi kafir hawa mili..
PYAR means….
P = Phone karna..
Y = Yaad karna..
A = Azadi khona..
R = Rote rehna,
k kaash phone aaye!!Unko hamari yaad aaye..So don’t PYAR.
Teri ulfat ko kabhi nakam na hone denge
Teri DOSTI ko kabhi badnam na hone denge
Meri zindagi main Suraj nikle na nikle
Teri zindagi main kabhi shaam na hone denge.
Wafa Main Ab Ye Hunar Ikhtiar Karna Hai,
Woh Sach Kahe Na Kahe Aitebar Karna Hai.
Yeh TujhKo Jagte Rehne Ka Shauk KabSe Hua,
Mujhe To Khair Tera Intezaar Krna Hai.
Khwabon main ayenge SMS ki tarah.
Dil main bas jayenge ring tone ki tarah,
Ye yari kabhi kam na hogi balance ki tarah,
Sirf tum busy na hona network ki tarah.
Baad Marne K Mere Tum Jo Kahani Likhna
Kaise Barbaad Hui Meri Jawani Likhna.
Yeh Bhi Likhna K Mere Hoont Hansi Ko Tarse,
Umer Bhar Ankh Se Behta Raha Pani Likhna.
Dard se dosti ho gayi yaaron,
Zindagi bedard ho gayi yaaron.
Kya hua jo jal gaya aashiyana hamara,
Duur tak roshni to ho gayi yaaron….
Dilo ko khareedne wale hazar mil jayege,
Aap ko daga dene wale bar-bar mil jayege,
Milega na aapko hum jesa koi,
Milne ko to dost beshumar mil jayege.
Susti bhare jism ko jagate kyun nahi,
Uth kar sab k saamne aate kyo nahi,
Msg bhi tumhara smell marta hai,
Thodi himmat kar k NAHATE kyun nahi…
Manzilain bhi uski thi, Rasta bhi uska tha.
Ek main akela tha,Kafila bhi uska tha..
Sath-Sath chalne ki soch bhi uski thi,
Phir raasta badalne ka faisla bhi uska tha…
Aaj kyun akela hoon,Dil sawal karta hai,
Log to uske the,Kya KHUDA bhi uska tha….?
Friday, December 01, 2006
good jokes
SMS JOKES THAT ALL LIKES
1980 girls: Maa mei Jeans pehanungi
Maa: Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maa: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai.
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.
FOOL se, FOOL ne,FOOLon ki FOOLwari meFOOL ke sath wish kiya'
You are the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife,Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?They named them as 'Jo-Jua', 'So-Hua'
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.
Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
1980 girls: Maa mei Jeans pehanungi
Maa: Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maa: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai.
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.
FOOL se, FOOL ne,FOOLon ki FOOLwari meFOOL ke sath wish kiya'
You are the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife,Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?They named them as 'Jo-Jua', 'So-Hua'
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.
Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
An indian
you know u r an indian when
- *Your house smells like fried onions.Your house smells like fried onions.
- *When you tell your parents you got 98% marks in an exam, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
- *You make tea in a saucepan.
- *You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
- *You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobe.
- *You have a 'Singer' sewing machine at home.
- *Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
- *You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
- *You hide everything from your parents.
- *Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
- *You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
- *Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
- *Everyone is a family friend.
- *You study medicine or engineering at university.
- *You were not that intelligent so you studied Computer science or business instead. (hey!!)
- *You know no one who has studied music.
- *You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
- *You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
- *You only make telephone calls after 6:30 PM.
- *You like the meat well done.
- *You eat onions with everything.
- *You use chilly sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
- *You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
- *You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) hem with your parents.
- *You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
- *You order Indian food in English language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
- *You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex.
- *You secure your baggage with a rope.
- *You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all possible members of your family who have come to pick you up.
- *You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
- *You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
- *You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.
- *You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.
- *In addition to cooking, you also use oil as a grooming aid.
- *You wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other.
- *You have annoying nicknames.
- *Your parents call all your friends "Beta".
- *Your mother measures wealth only in gold and diamonds.
- *Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
- *Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.
- *If you are living abroad, at least once a week your mom says, "I want to go back to India"
- *No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
- *Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor or engineer.
- *While living abroad, your parents always say, "It's cheaper in India."
we r indian
hum hain hindustani
Bengali
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengali's = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Indian Cricket Team.
Bihari
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.
Punjabi
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.
Mallu
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.
UP Bhaiyya
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.
Gujju
One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.
Andhraite
One Andhraite = chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.
Kashmiri
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.
Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara.
Bombayite
One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum.
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.
Sindhi
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.
Marwari
One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten the Jews as a community.
Bengali
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengali's = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Indian Cricket Team.
Bihari
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.
Punjabi
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.
Mallu
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.
UP Bhaiyya
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.
Gujju
One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.
Andhraite
One Andhraite = chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.
Kashmiri
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.
Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara.
Bombayite
One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum.
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.
Sindhi
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.
Marwari
One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten the Jews as a community.
PEOPLES, MANAGEMENT WANTS
WHAT KIND OF PEOPLES MANAGEMENT WANTS
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning
.And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning
.And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management
typical indian family
A Patel family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the US. It was sent by one of their daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it. When they opened the lid , they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:
Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Mohan and Varsha:I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her last wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of Toblerone chocolates and 8 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.
Ba is wearing 6 American T-shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba's is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.
The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.
Love,
Smita Patel.
Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Mohan and Varsha:I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her last wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of Toblerone chocolates and 8 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.
Ba is wearing 6 American T-shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba's is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.
The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.
Love,
Smita Patel.
some good statements
- LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
- LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
- LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
- LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
- LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
- BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
- LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
- LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
- LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
- THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
- LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
some frindship sentencse
- sum friends e worth bein thrown,sum r good 2keep,sume r 2 b treasured 4ever;i think u r the one 2 be thrown in the treasure box 2be kept 4ever
- wherever you go, whatever you do, you know ill always be there for you, so if youre alone , theres no need to fear, just give me a call and u no ill be here! x
- On a silent night when friend r few, i close my eyes and fink of u, a silent nite, a silent tear, a silent wish,dat u were here!
- dnt snd any msgs,i dnt wnt 2 c u,2 hear ur voice,2 think of u,2 keep in touch wid u!!coz da doctor advised me 2 keep away from sweets :)
- stars have 5ends, squares have4 ends, triangles have3 ends, lines have2 ends, life has1 end, but i hope our friendship has no end
- Although its quite a statement, Well it happens 2 b true. The best friend i ever had, Im glad 2 say its u!
- Smiles 'n' Tears, Giggles 'n' Laughs, Late nite calls 'n' Cute fotographs, ill b rite here till da day of ma death best friends forever till ma very last breath!!
- The years will come the years will go but with each 1 i wil always know whichever way the road may bend u wil always be my best friend
- when it hurts 2 look back & ur scared 2 look ahead, just look beside u & i will b there.
- i cant txt u roses or fax u my heart.id email u kisses but wed stil b apart.i luv u 2 pieces n just wish ud c dat i care 4 u so much coz u mean da world 2 me.
- Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur life.but only tru friends will leave foot prints in ur heart. . . . .u left urs in mine -x-
- The recipe of friendship: 1 cup of sharing.2 cups of caring.3 cups of forgiveness & hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends 4ever.
- A friend gives hope wen life is low.A friend is a place where you can go.A friend is honest- A friend is true.A friend is precious.A friend is u!
- A GOOD FRIEND ISLIKE A 'COMPUTER''ENTERS' UR LIFE.'SAVES' U IN DA HEART.'FORMATS' UR PROBLEMS.'SHIFTS' U 2 OPPORUNITY & NEVA 'DELETS' U 4RM DA HEART
- "In ur darkest hour wen ur fed up & blue.just remember this I'll always be there 4 u.Im no angel N cant change ur fate.but I'll do anything 4 u coz ur my m8."
- ur a mate wiv a heart of gold.how much u mean to me can never be told.ur sum1 2b talked bout so sweet and true.1 in a million dats u
- A gun can kill some1.fire can burn some1.wind can chill.anger can rage till it tearz u apart.but da power of ur smile can heal a frozen heart
- There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d gift of a wonderful friend like d friend dat i have in u!
- Sum1 sum where dreamz of ur smiles & whilst thinking of u says life is worthwhile.so wen ur lonely remember its true.that sum1 sum where is thinking of u.
- like a fallen star u fel into my life.u made me smile wen thingz werent rite..if hugz were water id send u the c.n sail away 4eva jus u n me.
- R we friends or r we not.U told me once but i 4got.of all d m8s ive eva met ur d 1 i wont 4get.& if i die b4 u do i will go 2 heaven & wait 4 u!
- God in heaven God above please protect the friend i love.Sent wiv a smile:-) sealed with a kiss.i love my friend whos reading this xx
- A very special m8 of mine.in my heart all da time.to c u wiv a happy smile makes my life feel worthwhile.warm & carin ur feelins true.im glad i av a m8 like u!
- Life can be hard & not always fun.But as night brings dark mornin brings sun.Wen life gets tough & no1 seems 2 care.Give me a call coz I'll always b there!
- Tiny starz shinin bright its time 4 me 2 say goodnite.so close ur eyes & snuggle up tight im wishin u sweet dreams 2nite!
- Uve touched my heart uve touched my soul.bcos of u I now feel whole.U'll always b my closest friend.u'll b in my heart 2 the very end.
- Dreams r2b 4goten reality to b lived.desires 2b fulfilled & destiny 2b reached.where it began.where will it end.friends from da start.friends til da end!
- Friends r angels that come from above.sent by god 4 me 2 luv.so wen u r lonely sad n blue remember ill be there for u!
some loving sentences
- Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all rolled into 1
- Thought of u 2day,dats not new,thought of u yesterday + da day b4 2, ill think of u 2mor + my whole life thru & ill think of u 4eva coz i think da world of U
- I have liked many but loved very few.yet no-one has been as sweet as u.I'd stand and wait in the worlds longest queue.just for the pleasure of a moment with u.
- A special smile a special face.a special someone i cant replace.i luv u i always will.uve filled a space no one can fill!
- Girl ur clever girl ur smart.girl ur like a work of art.girl ur sexy girl ur fine.d only thing u aint is mine!
i luv ur eyes i luv ur smile.i cherish ur ways i adore ur style.Wot can i say?ur 1of a kind & 24/7 ur on my mind! - As I lie awake in my bed.All sorts of thought run through my head,Like why do I love u as much as I do.den I realise its because u r u!
there was an headcount of angels in heaven,pandemonium strucked discoverin dat an angel is missin,pls call heaven &tell dem ure safe wit me,my sweet angel - I believe that God above created u for me to luv.he picked you out from all the rest cos he knew id luv you the best!I love so much my heart is sure.As time goes on I love you more,Your happy smile.Your loving face No1 will ever take your place
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